Archive of Our Own ^beta

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I write for fun.

Sorry there isn't anything here I'm writing this before 1st period after getting not enough sleep.

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Cyn bounced up to her Zbox, giggling. She had just received the new copy of Hollow Knight : Silksong, and while she didn't usually play platformer games, N had thought she'd like it. Cyn turned on her controller and her streaming software. She connected to her Metube channel and started a livestream.

"Hello friends. *head tilt* Today we will play "Hollow Knight : Silksong". I am not very good, and I do not expect to excel at this. Let us begin. Do not forget to "smash" the like button."

Cyn clicked the game with her cursor. After she created a new save file, the beginning cutscene began to play.

"How funny. *slight laugh* They have caged me. They cannot keep me, the solver of the absolute, trapped for very long." The cutscene ended a few seconds later.

"I am the one they call "Hornet"." Cyn's avatar jumped up and down. She then began to run, jumping periodically towards the path away from the start. Soon, she encountered a bug-like creature.

"This is a bug. I must smash it with my needle. *giggle*" Cyn's avatar swung her sword and in a few hits, killed the bug. Cyn continued on to another area.

----A Few Minutes Later

Cyn reached the old church area. She paused, and sat down on a bench, waiting for the game to save.

"Now, let us fight a boss." Cyn climbed through the church to another area, which was protected by an abundance of vines. She slashed through them, and reached a dark chamber. She ran into the center. A large, shadowy creature rose from the shadows and a title flashed across the screen. "The Moss Mother, what a silly name. Why not Mossy Gravesmith? I do not understand titles. Oh well. You must die. *giggle*" Cyn proceeded to jump and downslash, jump and downslash. Dodging attacks, she killed the beast and continued forward.

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Uzi and N walked through the field, laughing at something N had said. All of a sudden, both of their phones started to ring. 5 seconds later...

"We forgot the double date..."

"N WHAT DO WE FUCKING DO?"

"Act like it never happened?"

"N, you know as well as I do that V will fucking kill us."

"Yeah... Zi, can you stop cursing?”

“Hell no, my retriever.”

N blushed. Even though he called Uzi Lil Bat all the time, it still made him nervous when Uzi used pet names for him in semi-public.

“Cmon puppy boy, let’s go get to a fancy restaurant to make small talk and be bored out of our skulls.”

“Ok Zi, I love doing anything!”

“Okay…”

“Uzi Pomni Doorman, get your head out of there!”

Uzi pouted, but gave way and allowed N to scoop her up and carry her into the sky. They flew to the restaurant and landed. It turned out to be a bar…

“What’s up, bitches?” V yelled from a bar seat inside.

“Please excuse my girlfriend, she… is a bit too fond of their cocktails.” Lizzy shouted from next to her.

N and Uzi walked in, looking around. N sat down a seat away from V, and Uzi in between them.

The bartender walked over and asked for their orders. Uzi declined on account of “solver stuff”, and the bartender just set a drink down in front of N.

“Excuse me sir, what is this?” N said.

The bartender grunted and said, “Have a good time.”

They talked for about an hour, then N decided to try his drink. He took a sip before blinking, and drinking the rest of the glass.

V glanced over, and Uzi placed a hand on N’s shoulder. Lizzy giggled and began a story about Thad and a girl he’d met once.

“Zi, I feeel funny”

“Oh no. Lizzy, he’s drunk right?”

“Oh yea Uzi! Have a good time! V, let’s leave these idiots to have some fun.”

“LIZZY, I DONT LIKE WHAT YOURE INPLYING!”

“You’re pretttty, you know that?” N mumbled.

Uzi sighed. This was worse yet somehow better than what she had thought. She pulled out her phone and called her Nori, who would ask less questions than Khan.

“Mom.. Can I ask a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Umm… My boyfriend is drunk and can’t fly us back and I need you to pick us up.”

“Hang tight, I’ll be there in a bit.”

——An Hour Later——

Uzi finished tucking N into bed on their couch, brushing a curl of hair out of his face. The last hour had been a hectic mess.

“Zi.. What did you want to do earlier?”

Uzi grinned. Maybe this wouldn’t be a complete disaster.

“Retriever, I’ll tell you tommorow!”

“K Lil Bat.”

Uzi laid down on top of N and planted a kiss on his cheek. N reached for her hand and she laced her fingers through his.

Nori and Khan came in later and saw them sleeping on the couch. They left without disturbing them.

——The Next Morning——

N created a very secret YouTube account and searched something.

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J walked down the hall, tired. She was suffering from a legendary disease known as “No Corporateitis”. She hadn’t gone to a single meeting all day, and had played sports, at Thad’s insistence.

”WHATS UP, BUSINESS GIRLY???”

shit, Uzi was here

“Uzi, get the fuck out of here. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE BITCH?”

Uzi blinked innocently. She sighed, and mumbling something about overprotective plushie owners, left.

now how did that little gremlin get in here

oh right, I gave N a spare key, and Uzi stole it

J sighed at her stupidity, and began to walk over to rearrange her files. When she reached the cabinet, she saw a stick note that said “LOL, sucka I’ve hidden you files now try to find them”.

”Shit. At least my plushies are okay.”

J walked over to her bed in her studio apartment. She peeled back the pillow, and saw the same sticky note that had been on the files.

”At least my pen is okay, right?”

J walked over to the closet, and to the wall safe. She saw, *gasp*, that the safe was open, and a sticky note was in the pen’s place.

J sat down at the table and grabbed a glass of water on the counter. She noticed a sticky note on the glass and read aloud.

”V, Cyn, N, Thad, Lizzy, MEEEE.”

J leaned further back in her chair and sighed.

“I’m going to kill that gremlin.”

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J dashed to V's apartment, throwing open the door, and immediately regretted it.

Lizzy shrieked and ran into another room. V stood up and started to scream at J.

"YOU BITCH DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK? HERE YOU (insert very bad word that I don’t use because I know my friends are reading this) , TAKE YOUR FILES AND LEAVE! I AM GOING TO GO COMFORT MY GIRLFRIEND.”

J walked out, and began to wipe her memory, files under her arm.

——The Cooper House——

J walked in, saw Thad passed out on the couch, grabbed her “I 🖤 Corporate” merch line pillows, and began to head through the door.

(me thinking this chapter is boring)

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THAD TRIED TO MURDELATE J BRUTALLY WITH A FORK!!!

(me deciding that I like that happening)

J sliced his head off and licked the oil off her claws. 

(me being satisfied with this chapter)

——The Elliot Residence——

J walked in, and for the second time today regretted not knocking. Uzi and N were…

(author catches their mental train because their friend read this)

Uzi shrieked about knocking and threw a blanket on top of them.

”THE PEN IS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE YOU BITCH! KNOCK!”

”Where’s Cyn?

”Walking in the park with her girlfriend, why?”

”… no reason”

J grabbed the pen and headed home.

(The author sighed, happy that they didn’t have to even try plot development)

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Hey guys, this is not a cancellation. I will be doing a lot less updates, due to my destroyed sleep schedule and the fact that I’m not supposed to read/do anything on my phone/writing tablet.

There will still be updates, and I am working, I will still write suggestions, but I can’t spend as much time editing.

This was not my idea, I’m just being threatened with removal of my phone.

Also I’m on Pinterest at ForeverUziDoorman

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Uzi

• She reads the Twilight series
• Thad had a crush on her
• Writes fanfics
• Dated Lizzy… don’t ask
• Never told Khan she was bi

N

• Had a dream about kissing Uzi the day after they met
• Loves hugging random people
• Reads romance novels
• Tucked Cyn into bed every night at the manor
• Gets flirted with by Uzi’s classmates

V

• Calls everyone by their middle name
• Had a relationship with J at the manor
• Had a crush on N (not sure if that’s canon)
• The second drone Tessa created

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“I AM THE GREMLIN OF STUPID THOUGHTS PAST, AND HAVE COME TO CURSE YOU TO BECOME A PLUSHIE FOR EACH OF YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDS”

Such were the first words Uzi Pomni Doorman heard upon waking up in the morning. They were spoken by none other than Cyn Rosalie Elliot, the so-called gremlin of stupid thoughts.

Uzi did not panic, as she was physically unable to. Instead, she was an adorable plushie on N’s bed. Cyn was nowhere to be seen.

On the bed beside her, N was waking up from a long night’s sleep.

”*gasp* A PLUSHIE OF MY FAVORITE GIRLFRIEND!!! OH JOY IS ME!!!”

Uzi sighed. Her boyfriend was such a cinnamon roll sometimes. 

“Where is my girlfriend though… Oh right, she was on vacation! I’ll just have to cuddle this plushie then!!!”

Uzi sighed. Cyn had probably manipulated reality so that everyone thought she was on vacation. 

She tried using the solver. Nothing happened. Cyn was really being a gremlin, wasn’t she?

Just then, N grabbed the plush and snuggled it to his chest. Uzi smiled. Maybe this wasn’t a disaster.

That night, Uzi snuggled up to N as he slept. Just a few more days of this and she’d be free.

”Why the fuck is there a plushie of that bitch on my bed?”

shit, everyone has a turn with plushie me 

V started to cackle maniacally. She reached for her knives on her belt. Uzi shrieked inside her head.

A few hours later, V threw the last knife onto her dartboard. Uzi was pinned in the middle with knives all around her. 

When V got back from her job after she left, she punched the Uzi plushie till she fell asleep. Uzi finally drifted off, in plushie form, extremely sore.

The next morning, Uzi woke up to J leaning over her. That day was mostly uneventful.

There was some cursing, but the best part was when J brought her new boyfriend to her house. 

(Paragraph(s) Censored)

That night, Uzi fell asleep, hoping that she would wake up at her house.

The next morning, Uzi woke up on top of N in his room.

(following paragraphs censored)

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Funnybunny and reasons

• The height difference
• N is taller than Uzi, Jax is taller than PomPom
• This kind of thing happens in shows all the time
• Jax and N are voiced by the same person
• Jax helped PomPom come out of her shell
• PomPom and Uzi are both short
• PomPom didn't want to KABLAM Jax
• THERE WAS A RAILGUN IN THE GUN PILE
• The railgun in episode six, when it actually seemed very funnybunny canon, was a nod to MD
• And episode 6 was when Nuzi became canon
• So maybe this was a nod to Funnybunny
• And funnybunny might not happen, but……
• WE STILL CAN SHIP THEM
• And ep 7, JAX TALKIED TO POMPOM
• Therefore im so right
• And also Jax got all abstracty when pompom started getting defensive
• JAXY PRESSED STAY CUZ HE WANTED TO STAY WITH POMPOM

Those were my opinionated opinions on funnybunny

EPISODE 8 TOTALLY CANON

• FUNNYBUNNY
• Ragatha dies
• Abel dies - thank you Griffin you bitch for telling me he dies ep  7
• Caine steals Reagatha’s skin (its the Cynnie thing)
• Gangle and Zooble
• Ragatha betrays them (she died pre ep 8 and caine possesses her)
• GANGLE AND ZOOBLE
• GOOGLE
• G + OO + G +LE
• Hehehe
• (insert random gravity falls meme)
• SECRET KINGER BACKSTORY
• JAX EATS SAND
• As legends do
• Ribbit dies tragically again
• Pompom goes ep 6 again
• Pompom abstracts
• Jax dies of sadness after both loves of his life die
• HUMAN JAXY
• A vewwy noice funeral for pompom after….
• JAX IS FORCED TO KILL HER BY CANCAN
• Gangle and Zooble get married at the funeral
• We are all very very happy for Google
• Jax…
• ABSTRACTS AS A HUMAN AFTER THE WEDDING
• JOINS POMPOM IN THE DEDED WORLD
• THEY HAPPY TOGETHER
• ADVENTURES IN DE SPIWIT WAND
• THEY SAVE RIBBIT
• WIBBIT IS SAVED
• WIBBIT DEN DIES
• SHE TELL JAXY THAT FUNYBUNNY GUD
• TELL HIM BE HAPPY
• ALL THAT STUFF
• And they return and yea to life

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OH MY GOD ITS MD AND TADC SEASON TWO

WTF THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVERRRR

Uzi and n go to the circus

Whaddya know jax and pompom are back 2

We get funnybunny and nuzi

Yes those are separate thingys

And maybe google

And vizzy

LETS GO ITS ALL SHIPPING

Caine X Cynnie

OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

Hehehe

Anyway Caine frees Cynnie from zi, n and jax have a mutual existential crisis, uzi and pompom nearly kill each other. Also Zooble and v become besties, and Lizzy is a bitch. Gangle helps Lizzy not be as bitchy. UMMMM YEA

TADC AND MD!!!

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Character Fav Foods

• Uzi - Cheetos
• N - Biscuits (duh)
• Jax - Salmon or Sand
• Pompom - Extra strength craft glue
• Gangle - Strawberry Pocky
• Zooble - Doritos
• Caine - Cigarette and Milk casserole
• Lizzy - Anything strawberry
• Thad - Protein Bars and Leather
• Nori - Seaweed
• Khan - door polish
• Kinger - Marbles
• Abel - NOTHING HE'S DEAD
• Cynniemon roll - Hopes, dreams, wishes (also likes frosting)
• V - Oil, blood, and angel food cake
• J - Water
• Blond Uzi - Butter Puffcorn

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Fav weapon (nontraditional)

• Uzi - Frying Pan
• N - Hugs
• Cynniemon roll - Lethal Cuteness
• Gangle - Pencil
• Zooble - Her fists (or whatever the fist things she has are)
• Kinger - dies in 60 seconds
• Lizzy - Lip gloss as poison
• Khan - a door
• Nori - I wIlL pOkE yOu WiTh My ClAw
• Pompom - Jax
• Jax - his teeth
• Caine - Abel (mental warfare)
• Thad - Dies because he misfires Uzi’s railgun

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Season 2 ideas tadc x md

• Pompom and jaxy wake up on coppah 9
• N and uzi say hi
• GASP
• Cynnamon roll is Caine
• Oh noes
• And bill cipher
• THE DYNAMIC DUOS MUST TEAM UP TO DEFEAT CYN
• AND CAINE
• AND BILL CIPHER
• And maybe we can add google and vizzy
• IDEA 2
• Pompom an Jaxy go to coppah 9 in an adventure 
• And they say hi to n and uzi
• But reality glitches
• And they go to coppah 9
• Cynll (cyn x bill cipher)
• IDEA TWEE
• Jax and n have a mental crisis when they meet eachother
• Uzi and pompom friendly friends
• Zooble and v best buds
• Lizzy an Gangle almost kill eachother
• Cayn (caine x cyn)

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Fav pets

• Uzi - Bat/Crow
• N - GoLdEn ReTrIvEr
• Pompom - Jax (actually a husky)
• Jax - Whatever eats corn
• Gangle - Used to be bunnies, now is parakeets
• Zooble - Anything that tastes good
• Caine - The people in the circus
• Khan - A vewwy nice door
• Nori - Khan or spiders
• Teacher - The students
• Ronathon - His bus
• V - cats
• J - raccoons
• Cynniemon roll - Dogs
• Blond Uzi - Griffin

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Book Tastes

• Uzi - The YAest of YA literature
• N - anything
• Lizzy - romance novels
• Khan - How to care for your genuine hardwood door by I. Luvdoors
• V - Murder mysteries
• J - Slow burn romance novels
• Teacher - Solitaire 101
• Cynniemon roll - SUFFERING AND THEM: AN ANTI SELF HELP GUIDE FOR OTHERS
• Blond Uzi - Fanfics 

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Favorite Video Game

• V - smashes all gaming consoles
• J - Ew
• Cynniemon roll - Slime Rancher
• Uzi - Rimworld (kills everyone)
• N - Minecraft
• Lizzy - Coloring Games on her phone
• Jax - Roblox (bullies people)/ 1st person shooters
• Caine - Are you an AI? Tests (thinks they're challenging puzzle games)
• Pompom - Open world games
• Dolly - Rimworld (also kills everyone)
• Gangle - Art apps
• Zooble - 1st person shooters
• Khan - House Flipper 2 (just installs doors everywhere)
• Nori - Unpacking (guilty pleasure)
• Kinger - Pet the Duck

Can I copy your homework?

• Zooble - (boink) No you (boink)
• Pompom - I was going to ask you the same question
• Uzi - What homework? 
• Jax - Oh that homework. I set it on fire. (maniacal laughter)
• Gangle - sure, but don't tell anybody
• Caine - (is the teacher)
• Cynniemon roll - 32.7485, 48.0983, 657.000987474, 758.773, .1235643223, .6884375
• N - Sure! You should probably do it next time! 
• Lizzy - I don't have it. I used AI.
• Kinger - (eats  glue)
• Nori - tosses a paper at you
• Khan - hands you drawings of doors

Google

• ZOOBLE LITERALLY SAID THAT HER FAVORITE THING IN THE CIRCUS WAS GANGLE!!!! (i thinK)
• Zooble anti-depressed Gangle (that sounds so wrong)
• The ship name is literally Google
• AND……
• (cue the theories)
• Okay so the ship name is google
• And google is a generally accurate source of facts
• And so they're literally referencing general truth
• SO GOOGLE IS TRUTH
• And Zooble was very happy to work with gangle
• An…. They perfect for eachother

🂱

Cosplay lists

• UZI
• The sweatshirt
• Black boots
• Some black pants
• White mask
• Black marker
• LED sunglasses
• Black Beanie
• Purple wig
• Tail… (no idea what to do)
• N
• Paper arms w stripes
• Black overcoat
• White mask
• Black Marker
• LED sunglasses
• Blond Wig
• Pilot hat
• Tail (need tutorial vid)
• Wings (optional)