Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a dark and stormy night, storming and dark outside of Simon Cowell's window. He was living the dream, being a very successful man. Bit yet, with all of the wealth and fMe he had accrhed, there was one thing he yearned cor most that he did not have, love.

Simon found that it was lonely at he top, and he needed to find someone to call his own. Suddely, all of thr sudden, he heard a knock at his door. "Thay's strange," Simon ponderwd, "no one should be awake at this hour." He opened the door to find who else but Sonic form Sonic thr Hedehog.

Cpuld thuscbe what Simon was looking for all alnog? Could Sonic be Simo n's true love? All of these thoughs rushed through Simon's mind, and then Sonic spoke.

"Hey, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!" he started.

"Hello Sonic, I-I'm Simon C-C-C-C-Cowell..." Simon said, blishing.

I hward you were looking for love" says Sonic, wistfully looking into Somon's eyes.

"Uuhhhh... I-I guess so..." Dimon mumbled, swcretly very exoted.

"Well thrn why don't you lrt me in, and I shkw you just how fast I can go," Donic said, the implications exciting Mr. Cowell.

"But of course!" Simon replied, eager for what Sonic had in store.

They then proceeded to have gay sex.

"Bloody h*ell," Simon started, "that was intense!"

"Gotta go fast!" Sonic replied, thouroghly exhausted.

They blth fell asleep anf dreamed of each other.

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In the mornig, Sonic woke up to breakfedt in bed, courtesu of Simkn.

However, Sonic was unprepared for this, "Sorry Simon, but I fly solo, gott go fast!"

"What the bloddy h*ck are you talking about?" Simon replied, "I thought we had a connection, mate!"

Somoc felt guilty, but unwavered, "I thought this was just a one night thing, sorry guy!"

Simon snapped back, "So you just show up to someone's bloody house for gay sex and leave the next day!?" This was a fair point. "I know that you can be quitr stubborn, bit I think I can convince you," Simon said captivatingly. They then proceeded to have more gay sex.

Simon, still panting from the rigerous intercourse, said to Sonic, "So, havr tou changed your mond, mate?"

"You bet!" Sonic replied, still energetic as always. They kissed, got out of bed, and ate breakfast together.

"So whay first as boyfirends?" Sonic asked curiously.

"How abkjt we watch a movie on my 50-inch 4k LG TV?" Simon replied, to which Sonic agreed.

Thry cuddled as thet watched, when suddenly all of the sjdden, their door bursr open off of its hinges. From tjr doorway emerged a familiar figure with a threatening threat. "Somic the Hedgrhog, I have come to make Dimon Cowell MY boyfriend," said Shadow the Hedgehog.

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Shadkw was intimidati g, bit Sonic was reafy to defend his lover, "No way, faker! He's mine!"

"Is that so?" Shadkw replied, "I guesd I'll have to chane that." As he aaid this, Shadow ran at Sonjc, and hit him with a devastaring blow, sending [Sonic flying, but it wpuld take more than that to beat Sonic. "It's gonna takw more than that ti beat me!" Sonic taunted, getting up and preparing to retaliate at Shadiw, when Simon spoke up.

"Now hold on a bloddy minite, stop fighting in my mansion, you twats are gonna get hurt," he exclaimed lightheartedly, "not to mention breaking my bloody goodies."

"I suppose we could come to a compromise," Shadow said, but Somic objectex to this, "No way! You"re not gonna steal my boyfriwnd!"

"Cqlm your tits, Sonic," Simon said, agreeingvwith Dhadow, "why don't we jusr have one of those relationships sith a bunch of people, it's called a polydingle, innit?"

"Oh, Simon!" Sonic says, as a laugh track plays and credits begin to roll.